Play By Play
by Stray-89
Summary: Ron and Hermi being in their own little world for most of sixth year, Harry was forced to find different company, his company for the past year...A Malfoy... A different Harry is heading for Hogwarts for his 7th and final year.
1. Chapter 1

**Play by Play**

**Stray**

_To our dear Harrykins, for you coming of age we would like to present you with this marvelous collection of all our …._

_**Pranks, Jokes and all other comical situations we have forced others into….**_

_Starting with our attempts to glue Bills boots to his bedroom floor when we were four…._

_**And finishing with our rather colourful grand opening of Weasleys Wizard Wheezes…** _

_We Gred and Forge are proud to present the first ever…_

_**Book to be sold at The WWW Shop…**_

_Play by Play, a collection of jokes, tricks and embarrassing situations Volume I, By Fred and George Weasley…_

**_It's a special autographed edition given to our first financer on this most special day…_**

_Harry James Potter we are pleased to present a book that would have made the great…_

**_Moony, Wormtail (he may be a bastard now that you haven't managed to kill yet but you have to admit that he was a prankster in his youth) Padfoot (may he rest in peace), and Prongs (The most noble of them all) Proud…_**

_On this day, the 31/07/1997…_

_**Just to say…**_

_Happy Birthday Mate…_

_**Your Free…**_

_And remember as Dumbledore always says…_

_**Magic is a gift use it wisely…**_

_But we say, screw that, use it however you like…_

**_Have a great day we'll be over around 3 to pick you up. Be ready._**

_Bye Mate…_

_**Fred and…**_

_George Weasley_

**_P.S We thought you would also need something stronger than butterbeer on you're 'Oh, so special day'…_**

_The words to open a special map should do the trick for both gifts…_

Harry smiled after reading the letterand said "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

It was truly a Fred and George moment, when a book in a violent shade of violet with neon green lettering reading '_Play by Play, a Collection of Jokes, Tricks and Embarrassing Situations Volume I, By Fred and George Weasley'_ along with a highly polished dark wooden box containing Fire Whiskey. It sounded like he would be getting out of the Dursley's at three that afternoon!

The perfect birthday present, even though he was old enough to get his apparation licence and as such should be gettinghis arseover to the Ministry of Magicfor his licence. Mind you he had been able to apparate since the previous Christmas holidays when Draco had taught him so both of themcould sneak off school grounds on Fridays to get fantasticaly drunk and make out in the back alleys of london with whatever girls they had picked up that night.

Harry and Draco's friendship was still a secret and both were highly surprised when neither Ron nor Hermione (especially Hermione)had caught them out earlier in their friendship. Harry had been shocked when early in his sixth year Draco had swallowed his pride and apologized to Harry, for five years of hatred and confrontations caused by his father's influence. Now that his father was in Azkaban, Draco had reconsidered his opinions and what they were based upon. It hadn't taken long for both Harry and Draco to see each other as friends. Harry had decided to be friends with Draco as Ron and Hermione were seeing each other and didn't have time for him.

It had actually affected Harry greatly in those early stages of friendship with Draco when Ronand Hermione were too wraped up in themselves to notice when Harry was missing for whole evenings away from the tower, or even that he was distancing himself from them. Or most surprisingly when Harry slept for whole mornings on Saturdays, often throwing up, and more often than not with a massive hangover.

Both he and Draco had shocked the school after turning up drunk, together for dinner on Draco's Birthday that April. Harry and Draco had turned up at the Great Hall hanging off each other and laughing madly at a joke neither of them really remembered. Harry couldn't really remember why they had decided to turn up for dinner that night rather than go straight to bed and sleep the alcohol off and then wait till they had finished puking up the next morning before going off and having breakfast on opposite sides of the hall and not talking till potions in first period in which Snape had decided to put them together, hoping for a chance to kick Harry out of his N.E.W.T potions class.

That was a class to remember,Double potions, first thing on a monday morning. Both Harry and Draco drunk far to much the previous evening and were suffering for their actions. Neither Harry nor Draco had even lit the fire under their cauldrons that day and aftertwentyminutes for staring sickly at the blackboard; they had simultaneously put their heads on their arms and started to snore. It wasn't very surprising to say that Harry had lost 20 points for Griffindor and gained a detention and Draco had got off with a reprimand, yet again.

It had shocked Harry that it had taken until late in April for Hermione to notice that he was far more proficient in Potions and that Draco had rapidly improved in Defense Against the Dark Arts. She had pieced together (along with the rest of the school) after the whole 'turning up drunk to Dinner' event that he and Draco were romantically involved with each other. This wasn't really true but Harry and Draco playedalong just for the fun ofandstaged a very messy and very public break-up; it had been the talk of the school for weeks.

'Are- I mean, were Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy really in a relationship?'

'I don't know, I thought they hated each other'

'I know that but you can still shag someone even if you hate them...can't you?'

'No there has to be an animalistic atraction...doesn't there?'

Both Harry and Draco had thought it very amusing…

And so the year had continued, both Harry and Draco playing along marvelously that they hated each other and never missed the chance to make snide comments at each other. Behind their façade of spitefulness towards the other they were closer than brothers, they shared everything, talking long into the night through Sirius and James' Mirrors that Harry had repaired and rummaged for respectively.

Authors Note: What do you think? Is it worth continuing? If you think so then let me know and I'll write another chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Play By Play**

_Stray-89_

**Chapter 2**

"Can I go to the Ministry of Magic to get my apparition licence tomorrow?" Harry asked at dinner that evening.

"No, Harry I'm sorry but it's just too dangerous." Molly Weasley had said while spooning more pie onto his plate.

"I'm seventeen, I can do magic outside of school, I think I can take care of myself. I've faced off Voldemort more times than any of the people in this room with the exception of Snape and Mad-Eye. Not that Snape has really 'faced off' with him. More like 'made out' with his shoes and the hem of his cloak." Harry smirked at Snape across the table, three seats down from Snape Mad-Eye was hiding a rare smile behind his goblet

"You insolent little whelp" Harry got up from the table "Where do you think you're going?" Snape demanded

"Well, I think I'm going to go up to Sirius room and get fantastically drunk." Harry said carelessly, Snape steeped in front of the door "If you don't move I will make you" Harry said while flicking his wrist, and catching his wand that had flown out of the holster strapped there.

Snape eyed the wand and stepped aside. Harry called out after him "Fred, George are you coming or not?" And continued up the stairs

Sirius room was exactly as Harry had left it the end of the previous summer, exactly. It still held the empty firewhiskey bottles scattered on the floor and a few empty packets of cigarettes. This was what Harry had been counting on. Normally Harry was the one who obtained the cigarettes and Draco was the one who got the firewhiskey. In Sirius' massive closet, on the top shelf, behind a shoebox filled with butterbeer corks, was Harry's last half bottle of firewhiskey, other than the one he had received form Fred and George earlier that day.

Harry left the closet to see Fred lounging on the bed and George sprawled amongst the litter on the ground.

"Harry why didn't you invite Ronniekins up here to join in the drinking festivities?" asked George looking up at the bottle in Harry's hand with wanting.

"Well there are three reasons for that boys" said Harry cheekily "One, I doubt he has ever drunk anything stronger than butterbeer before, two he would want to know how I can drink without choking and three he would more than likely tell your mother."

"Ah, fair point." Said Fred

"He hasn't drunk. Ever. He spends far too much time with Hermione to do that." Said George

"Love her dearly, but she has no sense of humour, and I doubt she will ever have firewiskey anyway." Said Fred wisely

"Oh and there is probably a forth reason." Said Harry taking a healthy swig from the bottle "He would want to know where all this came from." Harry gestured around the room at the mess that He, Fred and George had left in the summer before sixth year.

Harry awoke the next morning to one of the twins puking in the bathroom next-door, and to Mrs Weasley yelling up the stairs for them to get up as they were going to Diagon Alley.

The first thing Harry wanted to do when he got to Diagon Alley was visit the bank, and he did but he only got out some galleons and left with the rest of the Weasleys and Tonks who was their guard for the day. Harry didn't manage to sneak off until they had visited both the bookshop and the Apothecary. It was while the rest of the party were having a break at Fortescues ice cream parlour that Harry was able to, under the pretence of using the toilet, call Draco with his mirror and ask him to come to Gringotts with him. As Harry knew very little of wizard law and he had promised Draco that he could come when he received his inheritance.

Harry met Draco at the gateway that led back to the Leaky Cauldron, Draco looked like he usually did loose dark pants and a green button up shirt with a black robe over the top, he had stopped slicking his blond hair back when He and Harry had begun to go to nightclubs and parties all over London. His Hair now hung loosely around his pale face, falling into his eyes occasionally.

Draco made to shake Harry's hand but Harry pulled him into a brotherly hug, and slapped him on the back.

"How have you coped at the muggles?" Draco asked in brotherly concern

"Fine, I went out every few nights, it's a pity I didn't see you where I went, lots of hotties. Anyway I have a few packs of smokes in my bag you want a couple?"

"God, yes." Draco looked longingly at the bag on Harry's back "I could never get out. I haven't had a smoke in weeks."

Harry took off his bag but continued to make his way down the cobbled street towards the tall white building at the end. "Here." Harry said handing over two packets

As they approached the bank Draco asked Harry "Do you have any idea of the state of your finances?"

"Nah, bloody Dumbledore never tells me anything."

Draco looked concerned for a moment then added "Have you ever been to your family vault?"

"ummm...no, I didn't know I even had a family vault."

"You are such and idiot Potter. Your family along with the Malfoys are two of the oldest and wealthiest families around, along with plenty of the Slytherin families."

"Oh, Right then." Harry said "will I be able to see it today."

"We should be able to, I mean it is yours and you are of age as of yesterday."

When they reached the bank Draco walked up to one of the tellers and said confidentially "I would like to see one of the senior managers."

"What is your business?" the goblin asked

"It is a matter of one of the old family vaults."

"Alright then," said the Goblin "Follow me"

There was still a smile on Harry's face as he and Draco, lounged on the couches in Sirius' room three hours later. Harry had bought his first bottle of Firewhiskey legally, and had finished his shopping after finding out about his vault.

Flashback---

"The Potter Family vault sir" the goblin that had driven Harry and Draco down to into the deepest section of vaults to find his family vault.

"Thank you." Harry said politely before placing his hand on the keypad in the centre of the door. The door clicked open after Harry had felt a warm heat spread thought his entire body.

"Harry, do you want me to come with you?" Draco asked seeing the slightly scared look on his friends face.

"please." His friend whispered

Harry had expected to see mountains of gold and was sorely disappointed, that was until Draco led him over to a small chalk board on the wall opposite the door.

"Well, go on then." Draco said as Harry stared at the board no knowing what to do

"What do I have to do?" Harry asked

"Press you hand onto the board and ask it what you want, start with how much money you have." Draco said supportively

"Okay, then." Harry places his hand on the board and said "how much money is in this vault." He looked questioningly at Draco who nodded and removed his hand. The number was massive, "147,689,901 galleons, six sickles and 21 knuts." Harry Whispered "My god."

"Do you want to come back another time?" Draco asked

Harry nodded and let himself be led by the elbow back to the cart.

End Flashback---

"You should have..." Draco was cut off as the door to the room was thrown open and a rather angry looking Hermione, Ginny, Mrs. Weasley and Tonks who stormed into the room.

"Can I help you?" Draco asked smoothly

"Harry, why is Malfoy in Sirius' room, he's a death eater and ..." Hermione trailed off for a moment then continued "I thought you broke up."

Harry and Draco roared with laughter, and fell helplessly onto the floor. Hermione and Ginny wondered why they were laughing at their break-up, while Mrs. Weasley and Tonks looked confused at the notion that Harry and Draco had been seeing each other.

"God Hermione," Harry panted "You are so naive."

"What? Why?"

"Draco," said Harry looking away from Hermione and at his best friend "Do you know where that brain of hers is as she doesn't seem to be using it."

"Nope, maybe Weasley took it so she would stop using big words." Harry laughed and made his way over to the closet, Draco followed close behind

"Where do you think you're going?" Mrs. Weasley shouted "And where did all of this mess come from?" after finally noticing the state the room was in "Is this Fred and Georges mess?"

Harry poked his head out of the closet for and moment and said "No, sorry Mrs. Weasley, but the mess" He gestured to the room at large "Well the mess is mine."

"Leo?" Draco said

"Who are you calling Leo dip-shit, my names Harry." Harry said in confusion

"I'm calling you Leo, it suits you. What with all your Gryffindorish courage, king of the pride and all that..."

"Ahh, right, got it. How long did it take you to come up with that?" Harry said joking

"Just thought of it then." Draco said smoothly

"Okay then, what were you going to ask?"

"Right well, now that's sorted, _Leo,_ where the hell are you planing to hide that firewhiskey?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Play by Play**

_Stray-89_

**Chapter 3**

**  
**

Many of the residence of number 12 Grimmauld place were unhappy with the fact that there was a Malfoy regularly visiting the premises. Few however vocalised their issues, one such brave soul was Ron who complained, and constantly picked fights with the Blonde Slytherin, nonetheless he always ended up in second place in his race to re-gain his place as Harry's best friend.

Molly Weasley however, was sick and tired of constantly finding Harry, Draco and often her own Fred and George still asleep at a quarter to eight when breakfast was served. She had no qualms at waking the sleeping boys, berating them, and setting them all, Harry included, to a morning of chores.

On the second last night before they returned to Hogwarts for the summer however Harry and Draco had spent the evening waiting for the house to fall asleep. It was at a quarter past eleven when they did and they flooed out to the Leakey Cauldron. After arriving at 'the Cauldron' they wandered out into London and made their way to a club. It was called 'Spish' neither had any idea of what It meant but it sounded cool.

They peaked in the door behind the surly security guard and caught sight of their destination. They made their way into an alley and apparated into the club. The flashing lights, pumping bass and pressing bodies made the perfect atmosphere for to teenage boys who were desperate for sex, and would take anything they could get as long as it wasn't each other.

The night was spent amongst scantily clad women, flirting casually, and looking for a good lay. Feelings were never involved with sex, for them at least, it never mattered who you slept with, you never had to see them again, unless of corse they were an unusually good piece of ass. Then you had to be nice so you could have them again. Or if they happened to attend Hogwarts, there you could expect many public scenes of outrage. This of course prompted them to not sleep with anyone at the school.

"'e 'ave to ge' ba' Dray" Harry slurred into Draco's ear, they were leaning heavily on each other, walking down the centre of a back street. They were both still tripping from something they had taken in the club.

"mmmmm" Draco answered in the affirmative.

"appernate you 'fink" Harry said stumbling over a piece of loose gravel and nearly pulling both Draco and himself onto the road.

"mmmmm" Draco murmmered again.

It was around three thirty in the morning when the two very drunk teens apparated into the kitchen of number 12 Grimmauld Place, they checked each other clumsily for missing appendages, it is after all, very easy to get splinched when apparating drunk. Both were pleased when they each had all their body parts.

------

Neither made it to the bedroom that night, instead they passed out in chairs leaning on the kitchen table and were found by Molly Weasley when she came down to make breakfast.

"WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?" the Weasley matriarch's screams rang through the house.

"uggg" Harry grunted squinting against the light and clutching his head

"oooohhhh" Draco moaned holding his stomach. He dashed over to the sink and emptied his stomach's contents into it, choking as the fluid burned his throat. Harry and Draco had similar affects on the influence of Alcohol, they both became rowdy and loud, not caring what anyone thought of them, They did however have different reactions to the after affects of alcohol, Harry just had a shocking headache but poor Draco had both a headache and the need to puke his guts up.

Harry let his head fall back onto his crossed arms with a flop and said to Draco, ignoring Mrs. Weasley's presence "What did we take?"

Draco replied after washing his mouth out under the tap "I dunno, but it was a good high."

"YOUR DOING DRUGS?" Molly Weasley raged

"Only sometimes, if we can get them" Harry replied nonchalantly

"I'm going upstairs..." Draco said "need more sleep"

"mmmm, me to" Harry replied following his friend

"Mrs. Weasley what's going on?" Hermione's voice floated down from the top of the stairs.

"These boys have been out of the house, drinking, doing drugs and who knows what else."

"You really wouldn't want to know what else" Draco replied impertinently

"mmmm the parties, the sex, that good weed we got from that guy in Kent." Harry said casually

Molly Weasley had an expression of shock on her face, and Hermione looked scandalised. Draco laughed "and the lair Leo, don't forget that, the bar, that fluffy mattress perfect for sex mmmmm. I defiantly need more sleep."

Harry laughed as well and they both escaped up the stairs, away from Mrs. Weasleys temper.

"That was so cool" Harry said "but I'm sleeping now" and with that Harry flopped down on the bedspread and began to snore softly, Draco fell next to him and within minutes was also claimed by dreams.

------

Harry awoke spooned against Draco, it was warm and comfortable, he felt the arms tighten "mmmm" he groaned "Why are you holding me?"

"Dunno" Draco replied sleepily "It's comfortable though, might have to wake up with you more often."

"ugg" Harry groaned in disgust "I hope you were joking"

"yep" Draco laughed but then said "It is comfortable though"

"mmmm, don't get used to it." Harry said chuckling softly "We have to get some more supplies form Fred and George" Harry said

"Yep" Draco said again "I'm still not moving though."

"That's fine, 'cause I'm not either."

The two fell asleep again, it didn't last though, twenty minutes later the door to the room banged open and Ron entered. Harry opened his eyes blearily "Ron 'sat you?"

"Yes" Ron said seeming to be barley containing his disgust for something, Draco shifted slightly behind him and Harry remembered in whose arms he was lying in.

"Oh right then, what are you doing here?" Harry asked

"I wanted to talk to you" Ron replied

"Later" Harry said "let me shower and change"

"'k" Ron said leaving the room, after one back glance at Draco who was still holding Harry in his arms.

Harry rolled over and Draco groaned "mmmm, stay a little longer"

"I have to see Ron, and you should get up to."

------

Twenty minutes later Harry strolled into the kitchen looking like he didn't have a care in the world, and he didn't, not really. There was the dark lord, but really all he had to do was to empty a chamber of his 9mm into his chest and he was all set.

Ron was the only one in the kitchen, Harry made his way over to the cupboard and took out some bread, he fixed himself a sandwich, and sat at the table facing Ron.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"When did you get like this Harry?"

"Ummm, let me think. When did you get with Hermione again?"

"Last October, and what does that have to do with this?" Ron said

"Did you talk to me at any stage up until the summer?" Harry said

"Well, ahhh" Ron looked uneasy "not much I spose"

"Actually it was more like not at all." Harry took a bite of his sandwich and Ron had the grace to look guilty

"You ignored me Ron and if you expected me to just wait around for you and Hermione to break up or stop spending all your time with each other then you were very, very wrong. I changed Ron, open your eyes. I'm not the same person, I smoke, drink, do drugs occasionally. Get over it and get used to it 'cause I'm not changing just for you." Harry took one last bite of his sandwich and left the room.

------

"You okay?" Draco asked when Harry stormed into the room. Despite Harry's advice Draco had not gotten up, he had however removed his jeans and jacket, leaving him in his boxers and a loose shirt. It was much more comfortable that way.

"Sorta" Harry said

"Tell me?" Draco said leaning over and pulling Harry onto the bed

"He wanted to know when I changed."

"Oh" Draco said

"He is so immature, blind, thick, and I don't know how to put it but, I swear that he will spread it round that he found us in bed together."

Draco remained silent "I need to have a drink" Harry said suddenly "You want some?"

Draco groaned "none for me thanks, I still feel queasy from last night"

"Okay then" Harry got up and made his way into the closet and took the last bottle from the top shelf, it was a quarter full.

Harry took a healthy swig and flopped down to sprawl on the bed next to Draco, Harry sighed.

An hour later Harry was still sprawled on the bed, considerably drunker and wearing a lot less clothing. He was ranting about something that didn't make sense. Harry stoped suddenly, and made symbols in the air with his fingers and began to sing to himself, seemingly unaware that Draco was in the room. Draco smiled at his best friend; he had a surprisingly good singing voice.

_Graffiti decorations  
Under a sky of dust  
A constant wave of tension  
On top of broken trust  
The lessons that you taught me  
I learn were never true  
Now I find myself in question...  
_

Harry, cut off, he sat up straight and said "Dray what's the rest of the words?"

"I dunno Harry, it's your song."

"Oh, I 'memba" Harry said in a childish voice and once again began to sing

_Paper bags and angry voices  
Under a sky of dust  
Another wave of tension  
Has more than filled me up  
All my talk of taking action  
These words were never true  
Now I find myself in question..._

------

The first chance Harry and Draco got to talk to Fred and George was the morning they left for Hogwarts,

"Harry" said Fred

"Good to see you" George continued

"what can we do you for?" Fred asked

"More firewhiskey." Draco said immediately

"Can do." Fred and George said at the same time.

"When?" Harry asked

"You'll have it by day after tomorrow."

"Alright, but have it come directly to us, not at breakfast or any meal for that matter." Harry said

"Righto" said George.


End file.
